Random Update Again

Its been a hectic 2 weeks prepping for this Vietnam thing, on top of the regular work I'm supposed to be doing, and I'm exhausted! I haven't stopped work earlier than midnight for the past week and a half - but still feel good about it all, as this is mostly the exception, not the rule.

The rest of April won't be any better either, work-life balance wise, but I think this is exactly what I need right now. We've got huge meetings coming up middle of April, and most of the time before that will be spent just prepping for those, and the time after that just executing all the "next steps" from the meetings. And I'm on 2 brands right now, so it's a bit of a juggling act.

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Had a chat with B this evening. I managed to catch her right before her shower - she claimed she was "stinky" from the gym, but we caught up anyway. She's frustrated with work, but still being optimistic about it. She's in a great spot. Was glad to chat. We're planning a trip to Bohol in July for some diving and lying about on the beach, so looking forward to seeing that push through, and also see my family as well, and get my drivers licence (I've learned how already, and have the permit). I miss B.

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Things have been interesting. Serendipitously, I found I had a copy of Chopin's "Fantaisie Impromptu" in one of my piano books last Saturday, and have been spending all my free time (when possible) trying to work it out. The funny thing about this is that I heard this piece played in Manila when I was there over the hols, and couldn't get it off my head! Last Saturday, I was just flipping through my book when lo and behold - it was there! Man, I'm HUGELY thrilled by this.

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Did champagne brunch last Saturday at the Fullerton, which I enjoyed tremendously. They probably have the best spread in Singapore vs. all the other hotels. We had lots of Taittinger, which I have learned recently is pronounced "tattinger" (silent "i"). This completely annoys me - why put an "i" if it's not meant to be pronounced?

What else?

I've gone to the gym a couple times, and am trying to lose all my excess flab, which basically accumulates around my thigh region. I'm top-skinny. I enjoy running, so I like to rationalize that this is all muscle, but I want it out! Out damned flab, out! While I'm not fat, fat, I could be fitter - the smoking really doesn't help in this regard.

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Spoke to N - planning a trip together around Asia when he finally gets around to coming over. Kept whining about why I haven't gone to see him, but I can't say I'm a big fan of where he lives. Could probably go in 3 years time maybe, but not anytime soon - so many other places to see. I've got my shortlist. He suggested I take him to Manila instead. I said that while it has its charm, it's mostly really filthy and that he wouldn't enjoy it much - better to stay for a day then skip it altogether and go where it matters the most - the provinces. Geez, and the traffic!

I read in the paper this morning that Singapore's trying to diversify it's educational system to place more emphasis in the arts, which is about time. They're coming to realize what a cultural backwater this place is, and hopefully this solves it. I wrote earlier about how I saw the arts museum here and was sorely disappointed. It just wasn't that artistic.

But that's what the Philippines has - to make good art one needs adversity, and there's certainly a lot of it in the Philippines. Being away and seeing it from the distance has given me a more genuine appreciation of its bounty, and it's really in the vibrancy of the people. While pinoys can be superficial try-hards with a lot of baggage that comes from being an ex-colony, you have to admit that carrying all that history around has its advantages from an arts and culture point of view. There's really no other place like it in Asia.

This is strange. Am not normally so enthusiastic about the Philippines.

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I want to get a haircut. Just a trim maybe, as am trying to grow my hair until it reaches the floor. Just kidding. No really. Everyone in Singapore seems to have curly hair these days, but am not getting a perm. I keep my hair in a tight knot off my face most of the time, so am quite happy to grow it long.

A SHORT DITTY ON GETTING A HAIRCUT

To get a hairdo that can flatter
Is not a trivial easy matter.
Choose a stylist you can trust
Some years' experience is a must.

Skill with shears beyond compare,
You don't want less to touch your hair!
A gentle touch, an eye for color
With good consultant client manner

From a foreign chain of good repute
It's worth the cost if you're astute.
For doomed is he who's on the cheap
To meet a con or worse, a creep.

Who's handiwork brings nothing but shame
Or adds 10 pounds to your frame.
It may resemble a mangled rat
Perhaps you can hide it with a hat?

But nothing compares to what happened to me
One vulnerable night last January.
From my long-term stylist, I succumbed to cheat
The outcome turned me white as a sheet!

Remorse and misery was my woe
For being an impulsive stylist's 'ho.
Quite high I must have been then on shisha,
For I bore the risk of alopecia!

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Weekend Shenanigans

I have a headache that's stubbornly refusing to go away despite 2 Panadols, 3 glasses of water, and a 20-minute nap. I was puyat again last night, ended up sleeping at 3 AM, but woke up at 8 so I could be at church by 8:30 AM, so that's my theory of why I'm seeing psychedelic dots when I close my eyes.

Just assessing the progress of what I said I would do this weekend, I've done 4 out of 6 things (which means I've got a 66% hit rate), or 5 out of 6 (83% hit rate), depending on how lax you are about the definition of the things I said I would do.

1. I went to the Singapore Art Museum (not the National Museum of Singapore) on Sunday afternoon. While I wasn't exactly wowed by it (although there were few notable pieces, and I really liked the Philippine exhibit - very tongue-in-cheek), most I found bland - especially the Malaysian exhibit: boh-ring. I did enjoy the special exhibit on Wong Keen, a Singaporean painter who spent some time in the US. One particular painting of his I really liked, and I thought this by far was what Singaporean artists should be celebrating - it featured about 8 ah-pe's converging around a traditional food court stall. Bright, colorful, and definitely a slice of contemporary Singaporean life, and non self-conscious dig at local culture, much preferred over the artistic realism favoured by some of the artists featured (historical kampong-ish snapshots, Samsui women and snakecharmers are all subjects, to illustrate), or imitation of traditional Chinese ink/Western cubist painting.

2. I saw "300" with some friends on Saturday. I liked it, and can't be bothered to elaborate. So there.

3. I got a pedicure.

4. I went to mass, but didn't go to confession. I think I've rationalized that it's pretty futile. Sinning is too fun. Len reckons that I should just invent my own sacrament - pray that I'm sorry, and then take a bath. After all, what else is confession but a bath for the soul? I tell her that nothing I can possibly come up with can replace 2000+ years of Roman-Catholic tradition, so I think I just need to psych myself up more to go for it (maybe next week). It's not like I'm plagued by guilt or anything, which is probably the root of the problem - the primary consideration is that you DO feel sorry, which I don't - as I credit it to life experience. And the fact that I'm thinking like this makes me feel guilty (aagh - blasphemy!), but not about the sins that "should" count. It's funny because I like to think of myself as someone With Faith, but clearly I've screwed it all up to suit how I feel at the moment, and I guess that makes me pretty much the same as the rest of the "Catholics" the Philippines churns out at the moment. So I think I shall spend this week contemplating my sins, and LEARNING to be sorry for them. Sort of hypnotize myself into feeling MORE sorry. Of course I'm being quite blase here, but I do want to take this seriously, and at least attempt to have a good confession, because bottom line is that I've been too enculturated to consider this important. And I know - GOD IS REAL! There's that old dilemma posed by Descartes - a sort of 2x2 matrix, which (to the degree that this blog format allows me) I shall attempt to explain: Suppose...

1. Box 1 - God exists, you live a life of goodness and moderation, and you go to heaven and get your eternal reward when you die.
2. Box 2 - To be on the safe side, you live a life of goodness. However, God doesn't exist, so you just wasted your life and missed all the fun.
3. Box 3 - God exists, you live in sin, and go to hell and eternal damnation when you die.
4. Box 4 - God doesn't exist, you live a life of sin and excess, and you die (nothing happens to you because you totally disappear.

In this illustration, Descartes proves probabilistically that you're better off being good, as you have 1 "good" situation (Box 1), 1 "compromise situation" (Box 2), and you completely avoid the bad situation of box 3/"hell". This logic makes sense to me, so I try. There are also other attempts at logically proving Gods existence (e.g. the writings of St. Anselm), but I think bottom line, it's still rooted in your own personal experience. Haay. So - must feel guilty this week!

5. Read "Natural Born Charmer" by Susan Elizabeth Phillips (a romance novel owned by Len), instead of "Execution", which I said I would read. I don't know why I need to keep giving disclaimers about the books I read. Yes, I read romance novels, but am embarrassed to admit it. Why I am admitting it in this public blog, I don't know - but yes, they're enjoyable! It was great! I loved it - it was funny, and 'feel-good'. It's as good as therapy, so yes, it was a good book, and I would recommend it to anyone who can get over the fact that it is a romance novel.

I didn't go to the gym because I was too lazy. =(

Oh, on my way back from the SAM today, I passed by a little gift store at Raffles City, next to the Din Tai Fung. They had a 'kinky'/slightly 'naughty' apron made of black vinyl, which I thought was a really cool idea to have around the house if you like to cook, which I do.

A Living Document of History

I've just been looking through the profile I put on this blog, and think I have outgrown it!

"I love my family passionately. I don't introspect as much as I would like or need, so at some level, I need to develop better self awareness, which is why I am doing this thing. I'm working at a nice firm, earn a good salary, have enough to live in a pretty good condo, have the occassional tipple and buy pretty much anything I want (clothes and books, not electronics). I like watching feel-good movies and chick lit. I enjoy physical exercise, but love to smoke. I like music and singing. And painting. I like some poetry. I enjoy the conversations i've had with some of the people I have encountered. I do not like whispering. I like decorating houses, and building things. Putting things together and creating things from scratch. I love art. I can play the piano, and cook decent pasta. I dream of being better at something someday, but am too lazy most of the time to do anything about it. I like the color red."

It's poorly written, trite, and quite embarrassing. To think that I wrote it almost three years ago in 2004 isn't an excuse. So I think I'll revise it:

"I am a recovering workaholic seeking new experiences to fill the void in my time once occupied by work. While I have a finely-honed sense of appreciation of the 9AM-12MN lifestyle, I have realized it's not for me, and prefer to just "chill". I enjoy reading, playing the piano, listening to music, and cooking. I am trying to teach myself to enjoy watching TV.

My current life goals are to quit smoking before I'm 30, travel more, take up yet another extreme sport (currently diving, which really isn't that extreme - and I barely do it anyway), re-learn Mandarin, and find a hobby I enjoy.

There. Much more apt to how I am feeling at the moment. This blog is quite a nice historical document. It's interesting that while on one hand, it's completely self-centered, on the other, it has proven to be very cathartic, and an interesting piece of personal history. I think I am quite proud of it.

Although I may look back another 3 years hence and cringe with agony after reading this entry. While it's a possibility, at least I am truthful.

Off to Vietnam!

Oh felicity! I've never been to Vietnam, but they're sending me there for work on the week of the 26th. I am quite excited, especially since I tried too late to book tickets for the Good Friday holiday on 6th April. I might try to use that time to do something religious instead. The next holiday isn't until Labor Day, so maybe I should try booking Krabi then.

I haven't gotten around to doing the research on Vietnam places to go, as have been very busy with work, but should be able to get around to doing that this weekend. Am staying over the weekend, so there's my chance to do some exploring!

I love this job!

It's really good timing as well, as I had just been thinking that I would love to go off to Vietnam, just to see what it's like - I've also heard nothing but good reviews from the people who have gone.

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I just got off the phone with my mum - she and my dad are constructing a new building for the office, and they just had their feng shui master over to look through the place and see if it was properly feng shui-fied. I think its gone well, and hope the construction process is smooth for them - cause you know how difficult constructing something usually is.

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Plans for the Weekend:

1. See the National Museum of Singapore - have always been meaning to go, but never have, so maybe its a task for the weekend.
2. Watch "300" - seems a bit too muscly for my taste, but heard interesting reviews so my curiousity has been whetted.
3. Read "Execution" - it's been sitting on my bookshelf for the past year, so I might as well get around to reading the thing.
4. Go to Church/see my Father-Confessor - Haven't been to confession since high school. Might be interesting to go through it again, and do it. Have been thinking about this for some time mainly because of the ideas of renewal and integrity behind it, which is appealing. I think it may be cathartic, and the experience may change my initial views of it being (i) a pointless exercise, as you can't help but sin again anyway, (ii) hypocritical, (iii) painfully embarrassing. But again - it may be another adventure!
5. Go to the gym.
6. Get a haircut/pedicure. The haircut I'm not too sure about. Not too long ago (last January'06), I colored my hair at not-my-usual-salon, and it was the biggest mistake ever. The colorist fried my scalp, so I have been spending the past year just trying to let it grow out. Occasionally, I try to stand in front of the mirror and encourage the follicles to seep keratin in the hopes that this ritual might accelerate hair re-growth. I currently have stubbly "baby" hairs everywhere, but that's a step from where it used to be. Aaah, alopecia. Maybe a trim then. I do need a pedicure though.

Can't Sleep

It's 3:13 AM on a blurry Thursday morning, and it's still dark out. I must have consumed enormous amounts of caffeine because try as I must: sleep eludes me tonight. I've tried all the tricks - I've drunk copious amounts of liquids, watched late night TV, plonked about on the piano, curled up with a gripping novel, turned out all the lights and swished around in bed for an hour - to no avail. So here I am attempting to pass away the time by writing this entry.

As I write this, "Black Holes and Revelations" by Muse is playing in the background at top volume - my neighbors must love me.

*Yawn*

Another Brilliant Weekend

Another brilliant weekend.

At 1:30 PM this afternoon I decided to get off the couch and make the five minute trek across the street to the food court in United Square. On my way there I was filled with a feeling of profound joy and a sense that all was well in the world. Indeed, life has been kind, and things seem to be looking up for the better.

After lunch I went for a quick shop at the supermarket, so now I've stockpiled enough food to last me about 3 months, which I plan to spend hibernating at home or doing random semi-athletic activities.

Why Things Are Going Well:

1. Work is fun and fulfilling at the moment (knock on wood, so that it stays that way). I am working on interesting projects and my bosses are supportive and thoughtful. I quite like the idea of being able to leave while the sun is still up and have a life beyond work - that I'm not expected to live my job. People are quite satisfied with me doing it decently, and if I choose to stay longer, then it's my prerogative. I've also regained that feeling of having my bosses be aspirational, as opposed to feeling sorry for them. So a word of advice - as soon as you decide that you don't want to be your boss, QUIT, and go find something else to do!
2. My new bookcase arrived last week, and with it, my formerly messy study has received a new lease on life. It's nice to be able to arrange my books in an orderly fashion with everything in its place. I have arranged my books into the following order - Second Shelf: travel, poetry, fiction, biographies; Third Shelf: politics, philosophy, economics, science; Fourth Shelf: business, cooking, astrology, psychology; Fifth Shelf: textbooks; Sixth Shelf: magazines and bills. The only thing left to be done really is to wrap the remaining books that I haven't gotten around to fiddling with yet. I am quite compulsive about wrapping my books in plastic. Occasionally I try to convince myself that this is a worthwhile activity on its own, as it will make the books last longer. I think that in reality, I find it merely therapeutic - there's really very minimal utility to it.
3. I have new curtains. Yes, along with the bookcase, this has left a profound change in the overall "chi" running through the house. No longer do I need to cringe everytime I look out the window. The alien, poo-yellow glow has been eliminated for good! The new curtains are of beige linen, giving the house an altogether resorty-type feel. Also, they do a much better job of filtering the light, and making the house seem airier and cozier. I was just telling Len last Thursday that I couldn't believe it took me this long to get rid of them. Definitely the highlight of the month!
4. Anthony, my carpenter, finally got off his butt and fixed the hole in Len's bathroom ceiling and the leak from my toilet. After 6 months of waiting, he finally got around to finishing what he began. He really was the most unreliable carpenter, and would always want to come at odd hours. (e.g. Call you up Sunday night to make an appointment for Monday morning). Nasty. I'm just glad the whole mess is over. We'll see if he keeps his commitment to come by this Tuesday afternoon like he said he would to repaint Len's bathroom ceiling. We shall see. Perhaps I shall give him a ring tomorrow so that he can bring a drill with him, so that I can hang my pictures. I've got 3 prints from my trip to London in 2005, a couple of half-finished canvasses from 2004, and 2 carved wooden heads from my trip to Bali last 2006. Altogther they make a big enough pile to get underway, so it would be good to get all of them hanging properly. I bought a painting last November, a slightly risque Botero knockoff from Chinatown that was a total bargain. I mean, the framing actually cost more than the painting. I brought the thing to Manila to give to my parents, and I have no idea whether they actually hung it yet. I doubt it. If they haven't, I should probably ask for it back.

So really, on an overall general level, I feel a lot better than I have in a long time. Now that I've got a lot of time on my hands, I've been thinking a lot about what to do with it. Ideally, I would like to spend it on productive things THAT I CAN STICK WITH. Mostly, I tend to be good at planning, but never really on the follow-through side, as I tend to get bored quite easily, and mostly drop things when I lose interest. So broadly and speculatively, here are the things I would like to consider:

1. Some 'artistic' thing that involves performing. Some random possibilities I've been playing around with include: singing, ballet, theater. Ballet has always been a fantasy, especially because I generally have two left feet, and have never been considered "graceful". But I quite like the idea of doing a pirouette in toe-shoes and wearing a long flowy skirt. In the meantime, I've been doing lots of piano-playing, mostly old favorites. But am practicing a new piece: Moonlight Sonata, by Beethoven. I can't seem to get past the third page of Pachelbel's Canon in D, so am still doing a bit of that, but it's mostly Beethoven right now. I definitely miss singing - which I used to do quite a bit of, but haven't got any real outlets for it here. There is a serious dearth of artistically-related activity in Singapore. Like, I could probably go join a class or something, but the quality is all very dubious - Singaporeans in general aren't very artistic. And when they try to be - it's exactly that, it feels too much of a put-on. There's not much heart into it? It's not like in the Philippines where people have soul. And everyone can sort of sing. It's weird because if you're an ''adult", and doing a hobby seriously, it's got to take a lot of your time. Hopefully something comes up. Theater-wise, there haven't been any amateur productions on the radar since the 2+ years I've been here. They always seem a bit shady, or very lame (not that I'm a professional or anything), but in general I've always had the feeling that if I'd joined something here on a semi-serious basis, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.
2. Re-learning a language I already know - either German or Mandarin. While I know snippets of both (I did German 1 and 2 when I was in high school, and also studied Mandarin for 13 years), I am fluent in neither, mainly because I don't practice my German, never really took Mandarin seriously in school (my parents speak Hokkien, and all the lessons were memorization-based, not conversational). So maybe I will expore doing something about this. From an ROI perspective, I suppose Mandarin would be much more useful. But German is much more fun, and seems to have a lot more utility from the perspective of personal enrichment. I remember just going through the library at the Goethe Institut in Aurora Boulevard in Manila - Oh, to be able to read in German, now that would be pretty cool. Chinese is nice, but quite difficult, in terms of the vocabulary, and the sheer number of characters you need to learn to be able to carry on a decent conversation or write something simple. At the same time, I think about how all the Chinese I had learned in the past would probably be pretty archaic by now, considering the major "short-cut" changes that have happened over the past ten years with 'ping in'', etc.
3. Taking the LSATs again. The thing is, although I got decent marks the last time I did it, I felt like I didn't really put my heart into it. I was working on the side, yes, but that really wasn't an excuse. I kept on finding reasons NOT to study for it, and did a lot of cutting corners. It's funny because law has always been a fantasy of mine, given that a lot of old friends have either done it (and are now practicing) or are studying Law, and I have always thought that it would be someting I would be stellar at. However, I seem to have lost interest just when I was about to really go for it. Maybe it's not for me. I've been considering other stuff though, such as getting another degree - lit maybe. Or economics? It would be nice to be able to do econometrics. I don't know. Don't want to put too much pressure on myself, but I have decided to give this a bit more thought. I definitely want to be able to do it part-time though - work AND study on the side. That would be most ideal. I think it's just a matter of doing the ground work and finding the appropriate course. So - time limit is April. Through work, I'm already enrolled in a short course on the side though, which is due to happen late-April, early May, but will probably need to do a bit of ground work so that I have something to keep me occupied come June.
4. Executing my 30-year financial plan. This is a big goal that I am really taking seriously this year - I've got the basics of the plan put together, it's just a matter of maintaining habit and discipline. I'm on a good roll though. =)
5. Travel more often. I've put a list of 6 key countries I would like to be able to visit within the next 5 years: Morocco, Russia, Sweden, South Africa, New Zealand and Egypt. Would be great to be able to do that. While doing that (ultimate goal), I would also like to be able to visit some "back-up" places through business, or via short holiday trips, i.e. ones that aren't as glamorous, but which I probably "need" to visit just because they're pretty common destinations: Vietnam, Cambodia (Siem Reap), Krabi/Phi Phi in Thailand. In just the past two years, I've been to the U.K., Spain, Japan, Korea, Australia, Malaysia, China, Indonesia, and Thailand. Want to add to this list, as it's always fun to look through your passport and go through the stamps/visas. Maybe also visit Canada again - I don't know. I do know that if I actively put a country on my mental list, I will eventually go there. It's just a matter of time.

So there. In general, things are looking up and am quite happy. =)